Saturday, February 14, 2009

I Lost Love – Every Relationship Has a Time Line

When I think about how I lost love, I think about
Alfred Lord Tennyson’s quote, “Tis better to have
loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”
When I lost love, I felt the whole world had
collapsed around me. I’m sharing my story in
order to help you if you too have lost the love
of your life.

I think it is important to remember that every
relationship has a natural lifespan. In Junior
High, that’s about four days. As we get older,
the lifespan increases. But, there are certain
relationships that are right for a period of time
and then go awry. Most of us will only have one
great love in our lives. The other relationships
will terminate. That’s why when I say I lost love,
I understand that this is a natural process.

In my case, my girlfriend and I were thinking about
ratcheting up our relationship. Her lease was about
to end, and she wanted to move into my apartment.
As we were spending most of our time there anyway,
it made sense from a financial perspective.

But there is something significant about having
separate places. I know I lost love because I
couldn’t handle her taking our relationship to
this level. I guess the time span of our
relationship was up because I wasn’t willing to
become more committed. Now,

I know I handled the situation badly. I went
to a friend’s bachelor party and let’s just say
things got out of hand. Word about the wild antics
at the party got back to my girlfriend, naturally,
and she dumped me. I lost love over the events of
one night.

But, when I think back on what really happened, the
events of the bachelor party were really a reaction
to our discussion of more commitment. I seriously
don’t think I would have behaved the way I did if
I really wanted her to move in. I lost love
because I wasn’t ready for the direction it was
taking.

I’m glad I had the chance to be in a relationship
with my ex. But I don’t think she was the love of
my life, my soul mate. Instead, she was someone
with whom I genuinely enjoyed spending time. I
loved her. I still love her. But, she is not the
person with whom I see spending the rest of my life.

I went through a period of mourning the relationship
and analyzing what went wrong. I really was hurt
when she said she wanted to end things. Sure, I
understood that I had hurt her. But, I didn’t want
her to leave my life completely.

I guess what I wanted was for things to continue on
the way they were. But, every relationship has to
grow or die. Because I wasn’t willing to let it grow,
it had to die. In every relationship, there is a time
to die. And, for me, this was it. That’s how I lost love.


Thursday, February 12, 2009

How to Win Love Back With Common Sense

How to win love back is a topic that I want
to talk about today. Too many people do
this all wrong. They think that they must
aggressively pursue their ex in order to get
him or her back. In fact, nothing could be
further from the truth. If you want to know
how to win love back, follow the advice in
this article as closely as possible.

The first thing you need to know in the how to
win love back arena is that you do not want to
chase your ex.

Too many guys think they must pursue their ex’s.
They send hundreds of texts, call at odd hours
of the day, and even stalk their ex girlfriend’s
home. They send flowers and gifts.

This is wrong, wrong, wrong because it makes you
look desperate. Women like Alpha males, not
sniveling guys they think are jokes. When you
appear desperate, your ex girlfriend will start
playing head games with you. She’ll let you come
over, and then invite a new guy over too. She’ll
pretend she’s interested only to go off in another
direction.

And, the more you fall into this trap, the more
games she’ll play. This is not the answer to how
to win love back.

Instead of chasing her and being desperate, you
need to play games with her that make her come
crawling to you.

When you are in a group that includes her, flirt
with every girl but her. If she has an enemy in
the group, pay special attention to that girl.
By ignoring your ex, you make her want to come
back to you. You are reminding her of all of your
charms, but not applying them to her.

It’s a good idea to go out on a date with one of
her close friends. Send your ex a text message
saying “now that we’re just friends, I wanted your
opinion on something. Where should I take Mary to
dinner after the big game?” That is sure to make
your ex girlfriend jealous and it’s one of the
tricks for how to win love back.

Even if you don’t want to play head games with your
ex, there is one thing that you can do that may help
you in the how to win love back arena. That is, you
should be happy.

Girls like to date happy guys. If you work on you
rather than focus on her, you have a much better
chance getting her back.

Go work out at the gym. Hang with your buddies.
Get involved in a hobby you never had time for when
you were dating her. Go out on dates. Even if you
have to fake being happy initially, you will soon
realize that you really are happy.

This way, whether you get the girl back or you move
on, you will be a happier person.

And, that is my advice for how to win love back.

How Get Your Ex Back – What To Do When Shes Dumped You

How get your ex back? This is the lament of
every guy who has ever been dumped. Did you
know that in three quarters of break ups, it
is the girl who calls the whole thing off?
Guys generally want to stay together with
their girlfriends. This article is about how
to get ex back.

First of all, you have to determine whether
she did you a favor by dumping you. Too often,
guys stick with girls out of inertia. It is
easier to stay in an okay relationship than go
out and look for a really good one. If you don’t
feel that the girl who dumped you was your soul
mate, consider that her calling things off might
be a blessing in disguise.

If this is not the case and you still want get
your ex back, read on.

The next step is to determine whether she loves
you. Girls can be fickle. They are much more
likely to act impulsively and then have regrets
about what they did. If you think she still
loves you, you have a good chance at ho get your
ex back.

In this case, you have to make her come to you.
Many guys call their ex’s numerous times, send
hundreds of texts, and exhibit other such
stalkerish behavior. This just pushes their
girlfriends away.

Instead, seem like you are accepting of the break
up. Move on. Date other girls – especially girls
in her circle. By making her come back to you
instead of the other way around, you will go about
how get your ex back.

During this time, you should analyze whether you
have changed from the many she first fell in love
with. Often, guys try to impress girls up front.
But, once they have slipped into a comfortable
relationship with their girlfriend, they slag off.
For instance, are you still working out as often as
you did? Toward the end, were you still opening her
car door, buying her flowers, and generally romancing
her the way you did at the beginning of the
relationship? These things can make a big difference
in how get your ex back.

When you do see your ex girlfriend, subtly remind her
of your common bonds. If you are going to go to a
party where you know she’s going to be, wear a shirt
she gave you. If she has a favorite cologne, wear it.
And, when you talk, bring up the positive things in
your past. Don’t beat her over the head with them,
but make her nostalgic about your common history.

Invite her to non-committal type of events. If a
group of friends are going to the beach, ask her to
come along. Begin seeing her in social settings once
again. When she comes along, pay some attention to
her, but spend your time with your friends and other
girls too. When she sees that you are an attractive
catch, you’ve already won half the battle of how get
your ex back.

So, that is how get your ex back.

How to Get Over Guy – The Steps for Moving On

Are you having trouble get over guy? Whether
he dumped you or you broke up with him, letting
go of someone who you had a close relationship
is very difficult. There is a space in your
heart as well as a space in your life that are
not quickly filled with anything or anyone else.
Yet, people do get over a relationship. Here
are five steps to get over guy you still like.

First, you need to let out the hurt. Know that
it is okay to cry when you are trying to get over
guy. Some people keep a journal of their
experiences because writing about the pain helps.

One thing that I have seen some people do that is
very effective is to write a long letter about the
relationship to their ex boyfriend. Talk about the
good times and bad. Talk about the relationship
and how he hurt you. Let it all out. When you have
finished the letter, burn it. That’s right. Don’t
even think about sending it to your ex. Instead,
let flames consume the letter. That provides
excellent closure to the relationship.

Next, you have to decide that the relationship is
really over. If you hold on to the thought that he
will change and come back to you, you will never get
over guy and move on.

Do something that symbolizes the finality of the end
of the relationship. A good example of this is to
exchange all of the personal property that you have of
the other’s. Don’t even keep the oversized t-shirt of
his that is so comfortable for sleeping in. And, if
there are things to minor to exchange (like a toothbrush),
throw them away. Clear your place of all of his things.
It is a way of clearing him from your life.

You need to depend on your friends through this time.
Until you meet your husband, guys will come and go, but
your girlfriends are forever. If you have been in a hot
and heavy relationship, you may have inadvertently ignored
your friends for a time. Not only will your girls help
you get over guy, but reconnecting will be good for your
social life.

Also, your girlfriends will have had similar experiences
to your break up. Sharing their pain will help you
understand that, however bad the hurt you are experiencing,
others have survived and you will too.

You will probably have extra time on your hands now that
you have broken up. You used to spend a lot of time with
your ex. Use this time productively to get over guy. Go
to the gym and get your body in shape. Take up a new hobby.

One of the best things you can do during this period is to
join a group or a class. Not only does a class take up the
time you would have spent with your ex, but it also
introduces you to a new circle of friends.

And, that brings me to my last point, when you want to get
over guy, the best thing you can do is move on. Between
your old friends, the new friends you make in your class
or hobby, and the activities you do to fill up your time,
you will emerge as a new person.

Moving on is the best way to get over guy.

Get Guy Back – A Gals Guide to Making Up

How do you get guy back? How do you convince
him that what the two of you had together was
special? This is your “get guy back” gal’s
guide to making up.

First of all, you have to recognize that
whatever happened, you were both at fault.
If you cheated, he wasn’t giving you what
you needed so you looked elsewhere. If he
cheated, you were the one not giving what he
needed. Yes, the cheater is morally culpable
for the cheating. The moral responsibility
does not lie with the person who was cheated
upon. But the fault lies in both party’s laps.

Given that, it is important to forgive and forget.
True forgiveness means that you let go of all of
the anger related to the incident. You never
bring it up again. You never let it cloud your
relationship. If you cannot do this, you won’t
get guy back for any period of time.

If you were the person at fault, apologize – and
mean it. Too many times, after people say “I’m
sorry,” there’s an “Oops I did it again,” moment.
You’re not Britney Spears. It’s not cute. When
you say you are sorry, you have to commit to
changing. Otherwise, you don’t mean it and you
won’t get guy back.

Be prepared to chase him a little bit. This
doesn’t mean sending him hundreds of text
messages or stalking him, but you have got to
show him that you are still interested if you
want to get guy back. You can’t expect him to
come running back just because you have sent out
some modest signals that you are ready to re-start
the relationship. Put your ego in check and put
your heart on the line.

You may have to settle for something less than you
wanted. It may be that he is only ready to be
friends when you want a full fledged boyfriend.
It may take time to rebuild the trust. If this is
the case, you need to give him the space he needs
to get to know you again. Accept that you have to
take what he is offering right now if you want to
eventually get guy back.

Finally, you have to know when to give up on the get
guy back strategy. Sometimes, you just have to move
on. If your boyfriend is unable to forgive you, you
are in a position where the best thing you can do is
move on and enter into new relationships. While this
will break your heart right now, it may be the best
thing that could have happened to you. Whatever went
wrong in this relationship, your soul mate is still
out there. Get guy back may stop you from meeting him!