Getting Over Break Up Steps of Recovery

Are you getting over break up right now? Do you
hurt so bad that you feel like your heart is going
to explode? Do you want to see the other person
one minute and want to kill them the next? That
is all par for the course when you are getting
over break up.

Just as there are stages of grief when mourning
someone who has diet, there are also steps that
must be taken when getting over break up. One woman
whose first husband died and second husband divorced
her said that it was actually easier getting over the
death of a husband than it was recovering from divorce.
That is because there’s societal support when someone
dies, but you are supposed to go about getting over
break up on your own.

The first thing you should do is sit down and write a
long letter to your ex. Pour out your heart. Share the
experiences you had together. Tell him or her why you
loved them. Put on paper how you feel about the break
up. Call them names. It’s okay to emote in this letter
because no one is ever going to see it. That is because
you are going to light a candle and burn the letter over
the candle’s flame. There are not many rituals that go
along with breaking up, but this one can help you on the
road to emotional recovery.

Next, you need to arrange to exchange stuff. If you have
been in a relationship of any length, you probably have
some stuff of his at your place and he’s got your things
at his. You probably want much of this stuff back and he
or she is equally eager to get theirs. Work out a time
for a mutual exchange.

If there are things of your ex’s that aren’t going to be
exchanged, either box them up or throw them away. Don’t
leave your ex’s toothbrush lying around the bathroom
because it will only remind you of them as you are trying
to go about getting over break up.

It is also a good idea to box up any gifts your ex gave
you for a time. Wearing a watch that your ex gave you
will make you think of them every time you check to see
what time it is. That’s just not a good idea when getting
over break up.

There are sometimes financial matters that need to be
straightened out when getting over a break up. If you
owe your ex money, try to either pay it off from your own
funds or get another loan to pay it off. If you have a
checking account together, work out how you are going to
divvy it up and then go to the bank to close it.

What you should be seeing is a pattern of closing out
the parts of your lives that you shared. This is
essential to getting over break up.

After you have done what is necessary, agree to have no
contact for thirty days. This will allow you to start
building separate lives. You shouldn’t call, text, email,
or meet the other person during this time. You may even
want to agree that some places such as a specific bar or
even a given church “belong” to one party or the other
during this month long period.

After you have had time to begin building a separate life,
you will be able to interact more normally once again. This
is a difficult time, so give yourself the space you need
in order to go about getting over break up.

Don't forget to pick up your copy of The Magic Of Making Up