Friday, January 9, 2009

How To Stop My Divorce

First, if you were the one who made the decision
to end the marriage and now you wonder, how can
I stop my divorce? You should realize that you’re
in a much better position than most people trying
to save their relationships. You’ll need to
swallow your pride and go to your spouse with an
apology. Explain that you acted hastily and that
now you regret it. Explain that you no longer
want the divorce, and maybe even that you never
wanted it but you spoke out of anger and you were
wrong.

This might seem a difficult step, but it’s
necessary. Since you were the one to bring up
the issue of divorce, your spouse might have
started seriously considering and thinking that
it’s a good idea, too. When you want to know,
“How to stop my divorce,” you need to discover
what your spouse thinks of the idea and make it
clear that you were wrong. Unless they’ve had
a lot of time and reason to decide that you were
right and divorce is the best step, you can
probably save the marriage just by admitting you
made a mistake.

If you’re wondering, “How can I stop my divorce
when I didn’t want it in the first place,” then
you have your work cut out for you. You can explain,
without judgment or accusations, that you think the
marriage is worth saving and that you don’t want a
divorce. Chances are that you’ve done this, more
than once. But the way you say it can make a
difference.

It’s important for you to be very mature and calm
about it. That’s not always easy to do. Divorce
is an emotional and painful thing. But it’s one
thing to cry while explaining that you want to stay
married, and entirely another to yell or dissolve
into hysterics. If you scream, accuse or point
fingers at your spouse, you’re giving him or her
even more reason to want to get away from you. If
you want to learn ‘how to stop my divorce’ you have
to let go of the anger and resentment you feel toward
your spouse for ever suggesting it in the first place.

You also have to be willing to work on your problems.
You must agree that the relationship can’t go back to
the way it was, but must change for the better.
Suggest marital counseling. Explain, “I want to stop
my divorce,”
but make it clear you know your spouse
was unhappy with the way things were, and you’re ready
to make them better.



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