7 Steps on How to Save a Relationship

Jim works long hours and Lisbet doesn’t
feel he is there for her. Lisbet spends
all of her time meeting the children’s
needs and Jim feels that she doesn’t
have time for his needs? Can this
relationship be saved? Should it be
saved? Here’s how to Save A
Relationship.

First, you must decide whether the
relationship is worth saving. While
almost every relationship can be saved
with hard work, both parties must
decide that they want to make it work.
Because if a partner has opted out and
doesn’t want to opt back in, there is
little that can be done.

Many people stay in a relationship
because it is convenient or remain in a
marriage because of the children. But
that is not enough. How to save a
relationship starts with a commitment
by both parties that the relationship is
worth saving.

Next, you must pinpoint the problem or
problems in a relationship. One of the
biggest problems in how to save a
relationship is that people believe the
symptoms of the problem are the problem
itself.

For instance, many people think an affair
is a problem that causes break ups. In
truth, the affair is a symptom of a deeper
problem. For instance, a lack of true
intimacy can lead to a straying spouse.
While most people look at the affair as
the problem, the underlying cause of the
affair was the lack of intimacy in the
primary relationship. If you do not deal
with the lack of intimacy, you might be able
to keep another affair from starting through
the use of guilt, but another problem
(for instance pornography) could pop up
because you haven’t dealt with the core issue.

When you start to deal with core issues
rather than symptoms, you can save the
relationship.

Once you have identified the core problems,
you can begin to share your thoughts. This
means both verbalizing your own feelings
and listening to your partner’s concerns.
Hold your partner’s had when you are talking
about your problems as a signal that you want
to reconnect even when your emotions are
swirling. When your partner talks about
things that hurt you remember that he or she
is not doing it because he or she wants to
hurt you. Rather it is because they want to
improve the relationship.

Once you have detailed the problems in your
relationship, create an action plan to solve
them. Then, take concrete steps on your
action plan. If you don’t spend time
together like you used to, plan a date night
every week. Take turns coming up with creative
ways to spend an evening together each Wednesday.
If not communicating is the problem, commit to
spending 20 minutes before going to bed just
talking to one another. And, then do it.

Finally, you should realize that saving a
relationship is an ongoing process. You are
going to take two steps forward only to take one
step back. There is going to be both laughter
and tears going forward. Be quick to apologize
and slow to blame.

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