Almost everyone in their life has had to go
through a breakup. A breakup is a strange
thing. Most things in life, the more you do
them, the easier it becomes to do. With
breakups no matter how many you've had to go
through in the past, they certainly don't
become easier to go through.
After a breakup, unless the relationship was
completely terrible, most people desire to
get their ex back. In fact, sometimes, even
if the relationship was unhealthy, they still
desire to get their ex back. You really
shouldn't try to get back with your ex if they
ever used physical violence or words to hurt you.
That is not a healthy relationship. If you were
in a relationship like that and your ex broke up
with you, then consider yourself lucky.
Otherwise, most relationships follow a pretty
predictable pattern. When you first meet someone
everything is wonderful and new. They can do no
wrong and you can do no wrong in their eyes.
After a short while comfort sets in. You adjust
to each other. When the newness is gone and the
comfort is there things in the relationship change.
The little quirks you were willing to overlook before
actually bother you now.
There is an expression: “Familiarity breeds contempt.”
Truer words couldn't be spoken for relationships.
After a couple get comfortable and familiar with each
other, trouble usually starts. This is exactly what
tests the strength of the relationship. It takes work
and effort to maintain a relationship. Sometimes, when
things break, instead of getting repaired, the other
person wants out of the relationship completely
Do you believe, despite it being over, your relationship
is worth salvaging, even if the other person made it
clear, it's over? You need some answers on how to get your
ex back. Here are four steps you can take.
- Say sorry
Saying you are sorry is one of the best how get your ex
back methods. Even if it doesn't get your ex back, it's
usually the best first step. Be sure that you say sorry
for the right reasons. After a breakup it can be easy to
blame yourself for everything. Remember, it takes two
people to have a successful relationship. Knowing what
exactly to apologize for is critical.
Whatever you do, when you apologize don't let your ex bait
you into an argument. The biggest irony of saying sorry to
an ex is that it can easily lead to another fight. If you
say you're sorry, and your ex brings something else up,
don't get defensive. Stay calm, keep your emotions, your
ego, and your pride in check.
2. Sit down and talk things out
If your ex is up to it, set a time where both of you can
sit down and talk. Whatever you don't beg, plead, cry, or
force your ex into this. If they don't want to, then just
go to the next step. If they do agree, you're going to have
to keep your emotions in check. This isn't the time to get
into a fight again. Make it clear to your ex that you have
no desire to bring blame into the discussion.
You want to talk about the issues objectively. If you talk
strictly about the issues without assigning blame, you'll
get better results. It is best if you can get a therapist
or an expert in the field of relationships involved with
this, if at all possible.
3. Give some space
This may seem counter-intuitive to how get your ex back.
You have to remember just because you want to talk to them
or see them, doesn't mean they do. It is crucial to allow
the partner some space. A brief time away from each other,
before you try to win them back, will give you both time to
cool down and a chance for them to miss you. If you're in
touch with them all the time, they won't be able to miss you.
4. Show them you care about yourself
Prove to them that you care about yourself. If you seem
desperate, clingy, and whiny, you will not succeed. If
you sit around the house waiting for them to call or keep
checking your email every few minutes hoping to get their
message, you're not doing yourself any favors. Hang out
with friends. Go to movies, go to concerts, go to the mall.
Whatever, just get up and get out and live your life.
It's best if you're not there when your ex calls. Then
they'll be wondering what you're doing. If you're out and
your cell rings and its your ex, don't answer it. Let the
call go to voice mail. The best thing to do is wait until
the next day to call them back. Tell them you were busy,and
you didn't have time to call them back. This will probably
shock them. You may even be able to get them to pursue you
again.
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